The Overcoat

Posted on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013 by Austin Gerth

This Winter, I will be warmer than you.

Why?

BOOM:

DSCF0260

BANG:

DSCF0262

SHAZAM:

DSCF0261

(NOT the same as above)

That, folks, is an overcoat, formerly owned by my paternal grandfather, who died before I was born. I am its proud new owner. It was delivered to me late in the night a week or two ago by my jolly uncle Philip, who is incapable of wearing the thing anymore, as its cut does not suit his shoulders. Phil wanted the coat to be passed on to another family member who could put it to noble use; I was the natural candidate, of course, as one of the last proud sons of the Gerth clan. The thing fits my shoulders like Cinderella’s slipper, and wearing it is like wearing the skin of a bear wearing a tuxedo (i.e. warm). The coat is apparently meant to be worn over a suit or other relatively bulky, fine menswear, which means it will be useful for transporting band instruments between campus buildings for concerts this year. The overcoat’s story is that my grandfather apparently wanted a coat nice enough to be worn over a suit when he went to funerals during the cold winter months. That whimsically morbid reason for the coat’s purchase (who knows why the old farmer would be attending so many funerals that he felt the need to buy a special coat for such occasions?) is what initially piqued my interest in having it. When I finally laid eyes upon the coat, however, I was dumbfounded, and unsure of what to make of it: would I actually wear such a thing? That’s what mothballs smell like? Would society really accept this? All these questions and more flew through my brain in an instant, and all were thrown aside with equal speed when I put the coat on, and when I realized that it kind of looks like the cover of R. Kelly’s 2000 album TP-2.COM:

You had me at R. Kelly

You had me at R. Kelly.

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+0Share on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest0Email this to someone

Post a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

About Austin Gerth

Senior

Austin Gerth

Writing & Philosophy

Connect with Austin Gerth

Twitter: @Austin_Gerth

Hello everyone! I’m Austin Gerth, class of 2016, from scenic Princeton, Minnesota. My hobbies include listening to and playing music, reading, watching movies, and thinking about things. I’m majoring in Writing. After college, I hope to be either some sort of writer or some sort of homeless (or both). I chose to come to Concordia mostly for the food, though it has a lot of other good qualities as well. Since coming to Concordia I’ve been to dorm room eggnog parties and late-night viral video productions; I’ve listened to a lot of Justin Timberlake and blindly taken a yoga class with no prior experience; I’ve participated in a heroically unproductive religion study group and fallen asleep in the campus center. On top of these things, I’ve also received a superlative education. If you like wind and pizza, you’ll like Fargo-Moorhead, and if you like corn-oriented humor, semi-gourmet cafeteria food, or late-night intellectual behavior, you’ll like Concordia. If you like all of the above, you’re probably already here and we’re probably already friends.