I Got a Couch off the Street

Posted on Thursday, November 12th, 2015 by Austin Gerth

Thar she blows.

Thar she blows. Magnificent.

Toward the end of the summer my mom and I bought these two big bean bag-type chair things to put in my dorm for this year. We’d looked at futons, but the chairs were simpler to transport and much cheaper than any futon we could have found, and we didn’t want to spend too much money on furnishing my room since it’s my last year. Those chairs, known by brand as “Big Joes,” were okay, but they were also pretty uncomfortable. I was willing to tolerate them — they did the job they were purchased to do. My girlfriend, Rachel, however, was quite vocal about her hatred of the chairs. I can’t say she wasn’t justified; I only defended the chairs in an effort to be optimistic — at least I had chairs, right?

A solution to the chair issue materialized Monday night. On the way back from dinner, I and two of my friends saw a small couch sitting on the sidewalk by the dumpsters outside the bookstore. We walked over to examine it, and we all expressed our desire to take the couch, if only we had the room for it. They complained that they wouldn’t be able to fit another couch picked up off the street in their house, since there were already two couches inside the house and two couches in the garage; and I didn’t take the couch because I figured it would be unnecessary — I already had those two bean bag chairs, after all. I also worried that if I took the couch, there was a chance I might get it into my room only to realize that it was slightly too large to fit in the space I wanted it to. We left the couch behind and parted ways. Later on Rachel came over to do homework.

We sat on the bean bag chairs to work, and she complained about them. I complained too, and I told her about the couch by the bookstore. She demanded we go get it. I’d only been joking, but she was serious. She had some homework she didn’t want to do that night, and she didn’t want to sit on the bean bags any longer.

So we went to look at the couch. We determined it was probably small enough, and that we could easily lift it. We carried it to Hoyum, and a passing stranger helped us get it through the door and up the stairs to my room. (Afterward he disappeared into the night, and I never caught his name — not joking.) I tossed the bean bag chairs in the Fourth Floor study room, pending removal to the Hoyum storage room in the basement. The couch fit perfectly in my dorm, even better than the bean bag chairs, actually, and it’s been in my room ever since. It’s stupendously ugly, and yet so so beautiful. I’ve named it Couch Ocula. It’s the best.

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About Austin Gerth

Senior

Austin Gerth

Writing & Philosophy

Connect with Austin Gerth

Twitter: @Austin_Gerth

Hello everyone! I’m Austin Gerth, class of 2016, from scenic Princeton, Minnesota. My hobbies include listening to and playing music, reading, watching movies, and thinking about things. I’m majoring in Writing. After college, I hope to be either some sort of writer or some sort of homeless (or both). I chose to come to Concordia mostly for the food, though it has a lot of other good qualities as well. Since coming to Concordia I’ve been to dorm room eggnog parties and late-night viral video productions; I’ve listened to a lot of Justin Timberlake and blindly taken a yoga class with no prior experience; I’ve participated in a heroically unproductive religion study group and fallen asleep in the campus center. On top of these things, I’ve also received a superlative education. If you like wind and pizza, you’ll like Fargo-Moorhead, and if you like corn-oriented humor, semi-gourmet cafeteria food, or late-night intellectual behavior, you’ll like Concordia. If you like all of the above, you’re probably already here and we’re probably already friends.